Life lived is a choice made

March 3, 2020

While having a heated conversation with a friend of mine days ago (I really don’t recall what we were talking about) he asked me something that got my mind racing.

“Is there a time you are not okay Lutgard? You are always smiling, do you get annoyed?”

Now at that moment I went mute like for 30 seconds, my mind racing in reverse thinking of the many times I do get annoyed in a single day. (Of course they are there)
Who doesn’t get annoyed or disappointed any way?
To quickly rub off the awkward silence, I reminded him of times he had witnessed my temper flare.
We laughed and he said ‘I know but this doesn’t take a lot of time and you are already teething (Oh yes! he said teething)

I need to confess this was a decision I made to keep smiling always no matter what is going on, and how life is messed up in that moment.

I remember making this decision sometime when I was at rock bottom. Times when I believed my world was falling apart. (I say believed because looking back it was the natural course of life happening)
This is a time I would lock myself in my house and cry myself to sleep, didn’t want or didn’t have the energy to talk to God or anyone but continually wished things would miraculously be different, and guess what they never did. Or maybe they did and I was too grief stricken to even notice.

So when I was tired of being tired, I stood up, dusted myself and walked back to reality. (Do you remember that famous story in the bible about the prodigal son, who came to his senses and went back home? I was that boy at that moment.) I made some hard but important decisions and among them was, I cannot have time to get annoyed. Its too much work you can agree with me right?
Again I need to be clear here, I am not saying you will not get angry, disappointed, discouraged name it; of course you will but the degree of effect will be significantly different.

Pete Greig in his book, GOD ON MUTE says that it is very important to pray for the ‘stupid’ things too like getting that space in the parking lot rather than seeking God for only the big shots like getting that job slot. In that way we learn to be grateful for the tinniest of things happening around us.

Now someone will ask me how easy is this for a mother who has just lost her pregnancy in the 8th month or at birth, a girl who has been abused countless times by his own father, you can name the worst case scenario.
I will tell you, I don’t how this will happen for this case other than praying for God’s grace but I will tell you for sure that when you deliberately choose something and pray for strength it happens almost unconsciously.

When my dad passed even after hoping the lord would listen and answer my (our) prayer to heal him and let him live to walk me down the aisle, he chose to answer with a sweet No.
I had reasons to throw my happiness away, question God why He wouldn’t answer my prayer (according to my will of course) but I chose to be thankful for the manner in which he died.

Life is a bitch I will tell you but God is good.
But the most important lesson of all I have learnt is the way life is lived is a decision made…..

Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Proud to be Catholic

February 24, 2020

St Paul writing to the Galatians in Chapter 6 verses 14 says; “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”

World over this 26th day of February 2020 marks the beginning of the lent period in the Catholic church. A time for serious, disciplined self-examination, a time spent in intensive prayer and repentance before the cross of Calvary. Not that these things do not and should not happen all the days of our lives but the church with divine wisdom sets apart this time as a reminder for perhaps something that has been forgotten or watered down. It is a time for preparation for the celebration of the risen Lord on Easter.

This day is popularly known as ASH WEDNESDAY and one of the most significant things that happen on this day aside the celebration of mass is the administration of ashes on the forehead of every christian. This always reminds me of the book of Ezekiel, Chapter 9:3–6 where he writes “The glory of the God of Israel rose from above the winged creature where it had been, towards the threshold of the Temple. He called to the man dressed in linen with a scribe’s ink-horn in his belt and Yahweh said to him, ‘Go all through the city, all through Jerusalem, and mark a cross on the foreheads of all who grieve and lament over all the loathsome practices in it.’ I heard him say to the others, ‘Follow him through the city and strike. Not one glance of pity; show no mercy; old men, young men, girls, children, women, kill and exterminate them all. But do not touch anyone with a cross on his forehead. Begin at my sanctuary.’ So they began with the old men who were in the Temple.” As I moved to work and I saw all these people walking with their foreheads marked it brought me immense joy that I cannot begin to explain. Just the thought of identifying someone who understands this season and time was a sweet balm on my heart.

As the priest marks one’s fore head, he says the following words, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” This mark is a visible symbol of penance. This calls me to humility and is a constant reminder for me that I am mere dust. It is only prudent to treat my neighbor in a manner I want to be treated. Like dust, my life can be out in a blink of an eye regardless of what I have or look like. The things of this world that seem so important and precious will one day be no more, they will not matter at all. What a reality check that each of us needs time and again!

The first reading today was taken from Joel 2:12–18, He urged us to tear not our garments but our hearts and come back to God for he is compassionate; which spells out the gist of the season, a time to seek repentance, like the prodigal son to come back to our senses and return to the father’s house. The gospel reading from Matthew 6:1–6, 16–18 gave us guidelines on how to fast and the major highlight for me is to have reason and purpose as I pray and fast in this season. Not because it is the season or to show off to anyone but a time to get closer to my savior like never before. Not forgetting the 3 major pillars of this season which is PRAYER, FAST, ALMS GIVING.

Catholics have been accused of being too traditional and conservative but I tell you the seasons that the church put in place remind us of these important aspects of our spiritual livelihood that we may perhaps have missed if the seasons were not in place. It makes me so happy to be a part of the universal church. I love my Catholicism and I can confidently say, I AM PROUD TO BE CATHOLIC

I wish you a fruitful lent period, a season of stretch.

Lifestyle

Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGS)

February 18, 2020

I promised myself in this year of 2020 a.k.a twene twene to bring it all out. My theme this year is TO BE INTENTIONAL and it feels like I am five months into the year already.

I was recently reading a very interesting book ‘Courageous Leadership’ by Bill Hybles and somewhere he talks about making of Big Hairy Audacious Goals, goals that are big, bold and almost scary. When I looked through my goals this year they were not any less of that. I will just share one that I resolved to improve my financial discipline. Now this is such a stretch, clearly shakes my comfort zone to the core but I am willing to give it a try.

With my financial plan to achieve my goal of improving my financial discipline, I decided to go with the famous 50/30/20 budget rule. I will share this in detail with you and perhaps you want to give it a try.

50/20/30 budget rule was popularized by Senator Elizabeth Warren in her book ‘ All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan.’ The rule states that you should spend up to 50% of your after-tax income on needs and obligations that you must-have or must-do. The remaining half should be split up between 20% savings and debt repayment and 30% to everything else that you might want.

50%: Needs

Needs are those bills that you absolutely must pay and are the things necessary for survival. These may include rent, fuel, groceries, healthcare, utilities name it. These are essentially your “must-haves.”

Half of your after-tax income should be all that you need to cover your needs and obligations. If you are spending more than that on your needs, you will have to either cut down on wants or try to downsize your lifestyle, perhaps to a smaller home or more modest car. You may even want to explore public transportation to work, or cooking at home more often than always buying food.

30%: Wants

Wants are all the things you spend money on that are not absolutely essential. This includes dinner and movies out with friends, change of wardrobe, that new handbag, tickets to a music show, weekend get away, the latest electronic gadget. Anything in the “wants” bucket is optional if you boil it down. There is always a way around it. Instead of cinema, you can choose to do it from home, you can work out at home instead of going to the gym, cook instead of eating out, name it

Just incase take a decision to upgrade your gadget or the dstv subscription, change the car, it all falls under this category. Basically, wants are all those little extras you spend money on that make life more enjoyable and entertaining.

20%: Savings

Finally, try to allocate 20% of your net income to savings and investments. This includes adding money to an emergency fund in a bank savings account, and investing in that land or stocks. You should have at least three months of emergency savings on hand for those unforeseen event occurs. (Please note that we are not preparing for the worst, but those times are inevitable)

Debt repayment can also be put in here.

Now when I looked at my income streams, I had to lift my head and get working smarter than I already am. I will surely give an update on my progress. Feel free to give this a try.

The Consul

February 12, 2020

What is the term given to the time where one seems to be working in an overdrive but will not stop? I have failed to find a term for it yet it seems one of those times I am in currently.

I recently did a personality check and found out that I am a CONSUL. According to https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test, this personality trait makes up twelve percent of the total population in the world. This is what they went on to describe; ‘In high school, Consuls are the cheerleaders and the quarterbacks, setting the tone, taking the spotlight and leading their teams forward to victory and fame. Later in life, Consuls continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.’ For the record this is the best description I have found of who exactly I know myself as.

As I sat in my second leadership class at Harvest Institute, the facilitator of the day, who is the reason I took this personality test kept describing himself and how his personality had an impact on his life and health. As he explained himself being an overly ambitious human, who at one point struggled to say no to any challenge and task or say help, I kept seeing myself through him. My neighbor who also doubles as my longtime friend just could not stop laughing at me and all I could do is hang my head low as I muffled at ‘how loud’ the facilitator was getting. The facilitator told us of a time not long a go when he jokingly branched off to a physician to run some tests, not because he was sick (after all he was in ‘perfect health’), but to pass sometime as the heavy jam subsidized. To his shock, his health was a ticking bomb yet no red flags had been hoisted. He was put on a rigorous intervention that included medication as well as diets and exercises. But the doctor literally yelled at him to SLOW DOWN!!!

This led me to check through myself, I run to the computer and quickly took the test. Here is what you did not know about Consuls. You may want to find out what your personality trait is

STRENGTHS OF A CONSUL

Strong Practical Skills — Consuls are excellent managers of day-to-day tasks and routine maintenance, enjoying making sure that those who are close to them are well cared for.
Strong Sense of Duty — People with the Consul personality type have a strong sense of responsibility and strive to meet their obligations, though this may sometimes be more from a sense of social expectations than intrinsic drive.
Very Loyal — Valuing stability and security very highly, Consuls are eager to preserve the status quo, which makes them extremely loyal and trustworthy partners and employees. Consuls are true pillars of any groups they belong to — whether it is their family or a community club, people with this personality type can always be relied upon.
Sensitive and Warm — Helping to ensure that stability, Consul personalities seek harmony and care deeply about other people’s feelings, being careful not to offend or hurt anybody. Consuls are strong team players, and win-win situations are the stuff smiles are made of.
Good at Connecting with Others — These qualities come together to make Consuls social, comfortable and well-liked. Consul personalities have a strong need to “belong”, and have no problem with small talk or following social cues in order to help them take an active role in their communities.

WEAKNESSES OF A CONSUL

Worried about Their Social Status — These Strengths are related to a chief Weakness: Consuls’ preoccupation with social status and influence, which affects many decisions they make, potentially limiting their creativity and open-mindedness.
Inflexible — Consuls place a lot of importance on what is socially acceptable, and can be very cautious, even critical of anything unconventional or outside the mainstream. People with this personality type may also sometimes push their own beliefs too hard in an effort to establish them as mainstream.
Reluctant to Innovate or Improvise — Just as they can be critical of others’ “unusual” behavior, Consuls may also be unwilling to step out of their own comfort zones, usually for fear of being (or just appearing) different.
Vulnerable to Criticism — It can be especially challenging to change these tendencies because Consuls are so conflict-averse. Consul personalities can become very defensive and hurt if someone, especially a person close to them, criticizes their habits, beliefs or traditions.
Often Too Needy — Consuls need to hear and see a great deal of appreciation. If their efforts go unnoticed, people with the Consul personality type may start fishing for compliments, in an attempt to get reassurance of how much they are valued.
Too Selfless — The other side of this is that Consuls sometimes try to establish their value with doting attention, something that can quickly overwhelm those who don’t need it, making it ultimately unwelcome. Furthermore, Consuls often neglect their own needs in the process.

I cannot say that I agree to every one of the strength and weaknesses mentioned here, some I have naturally evolved and modified but needless to say, on the whole that is who I am

In conclusion few personality types are as practical and caring as Consuls. We are known for our social and administrative skills, Consuls are good at creating and maintaining a secure, stable and friendly environment for themselves and their loved ones. Consuls’ dedication is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.

Yet Consuls can be easily tripped up in areas where their kindness and practical approach are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, learning to relax or improvise, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder, or managing their workload, Consuls need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.

I have some (or say alot) of work to get this together. Find out your personality trait today and you could explain the reason for some of the things that you are doing and or experiencing.

Uncategorized

Excuse Me!!!

February 5, 2020

Zach Hendrix the Co-founder, GreenPal quoted this; “Listen to your customers or you will have none”

I was coming from a long meeting yesterday, very exhausted and quite hungry. My brain convinced me that I could not make it home with this hunger and more so hold it until I prepared a meal. So we agreed for a quicker solution and that being finding a food service provider to deal with my apparent problem. Food and I have a very intimate relationship and I like to believe this is so for everyone.

I was in Ntinda (this is a place here in Kampala, Uganda) and I chose to go to the nearest restaurant that I could find. This is about 19:00 hrs in the evening. I was with a friend and when we got in, the place was sparsely occupied, about 3 people were seated having the meal. We entered and chose to sit at the very end of the room. It looked the most comfortable of all the places in the restaurant. So we take our seats and I was very sure the waitresses would come and welcome us and take our orders. Five minutes into our arrival no one seemed bothered. (Mark you these ‘girls’, the waitresses were freely having their conservation about God knows what) Since I was the one in need I decided to beckon on one of the girls to come and take our order. She drags her feet and comes through. She takes our orders and I should say the food came quicker than I had anticipated, given the first impression we got. The quality of the food was not best but that is a story for another day.

When we finished eating, again I had to call out the waitress to get us our bill. At this time I am really irritated at the quality of service we are receiving. When the bill came back it was a receipt belonging to someone else but the cashier thought it wise to write my bill at the back. At this point I am confused at what is happening. So I call the waitress who at this point had walked off to somewhere better than being by our side. On inquiring what was going on, whether receipt slips were over, she belts “The receipts are done and that is what we do” I was in utter shock. She walked off again!!!!!! I was really disappointed at this point in time, and I chose to share this with the world.

Most of the time businesses do not die because of bad products but because of a poor service. Many businesses if not all survive off a referrals, but if someone is to receive this kind of treatment, why wouldn’t the business die. Many of the business proprietors do not take time to see what is going on in their business for as along as money is trickling in. We do not take time to invest in training our employees and at the end of the day all you are served with is a bad review. There is a reason as to why many Ugandans, flock places like Cafe Javas, it may not necessarily be because of the food, but when I go somewhere where I am treated like royalty, be sure I will be a constant guest.

Invest in your business, not only in the money but also in human resource